My Why
Hello friend!
My name is Hailey! I’m a wife and mother writing to you from rural, southern Virginia. The Not-So-Secret Life of a Pastor’s Wife is a community several years in the making and I’d love to tell you how it started.
Growing up in church I always knew faith was going to be a huge part of my life. However, like many young, naive individuals, I liked to tell God some things I was never going to do. In this case, I was never going to marry a pastor. I was absolutely not going to be a pastor’s wife. But, as they say, God has a strong sense of humor, and I became a pastor’s wife in 2018. It’s amazing how God prepares us for things even when we are confident our lives are going in a different direction.
While I was raised in a Christian home, no members of my family were directly involved in ministry, no pastors, youth leaders, missionaries, evangelists, etc. I didn’t know what it was going to be like stepping into my new role as a pastor’s wife. While I had obviously known the female leaders in my church growing up, my observations were limited to the confines of the church walls. Needless to say, I wasn’t fully prepared for the life that was ahead of me, and I didn’t feel I had the resources to figure it all out. And considering I’m an introvert, I wasn’t going to start asking too many questions.
I was learning how to live a life I thought had to revolve completely around the church. My life seemingly wasn’t my own anymore. I had to share my husband, and my life was an open window for anyone to look into. It was a scary way to begin a marriage and a ministry.
I was desperate to find support and community to assure me I wasn’t on my own. I searched online for quite some time hoping to find a resource where I could connect with women like me. Women new to this side of ministry and looking for others to go through life with. My search was unsuccessful, so it got me thinking about what I could do to change that.
I have a Bachelor’s degree in English from Liberty University and a Master’s in Creative Writing and English from Southern New Hampshire University. Naturally I have a love for the written word. I pursued my degrees with the goal of one day becoming a novelist. While this is still the dream, God laid another aspiration on my heart in the mean time. Because I couldn’t find a resource to connect women in ministry, why not create one myself?
So that is what brings us together today.
I want to use this space to create a community of women in ministry: pastors’ wives, missionaries, coordinators, worships leaders. Whatever your role is in ministry, I want to do life with you!
When it comes to ministry, so many people only see the husbands, the men. And there is no doubt that they carry a heavy weight, but we do carry it with them. We support them and their calling. We support and raise our families. We care for our home. We work. We volunteer. We teach Sunday school. We cook for the homebound, loved ones and new moms. We do all this and more with grace, a smile and no complaints. We have no regrets when it comes to choosing this life. But we must have a way to share our burdens and victories.
I have learned so much since I was first married. I am no longer the inexperienced pastor’s wife of 2018. Now, I am by no means an expert on being a pastor’s wife, but I do have stories and burdens to share.
This is a safe space for us to learn, worship and grow together. I want to share my life you with the hope that you won’t feel the way I did. And even if you do, I want you to at least know that you are not alone.
So welcome to my glass house! Consider this your invitation in!
