Community Counts
As I’ve said before, the purpose of this blog is to establish community and connection between women in ministry. This is a seemingly new concept for me; something I never truly understood until recent years.
I’ve never been very good at making friends, building connections with people. In fact I actually don’t enjoy meeting new people at all, especially more than one person at a time. It gives me anxiety.
I believe a lot of you can relate to this feeling. The immediate fear of rejection that comes with meeting new people. And it doesn’t necessarily go away once you’ve gotten to know them a little. There is this tiny voice in the back of your mind that has you waiting for the other shoe to drop (pardon the cliche). You convince yourself that there’s going to come a day when they suddenly realize you’re not worth the time anymore.
Fear of rejection can be debilitating, and it can cause you to lead a rather lonely life.
I would say this is the way I have lived the majority of my life. And certain circumstances have often times only reinforced these negative thoughts, whether it be a friend I thought would be around forever or something as simple as a wary glance from someone I’m still trying to get to know. Seemingly minor things provide false confirmation to the misguidance of that inner voice. This particular mental behavior only manages to feed the anxieties of an introvert like myself.
However, when I became a pastor’s wife, I knew this could not continue to be an anxiety I allowed to have victory in my life. You see, in many cases, when you are in ministry, people tend to hold certain expectations for how you are to behave. You are to be a present body in almost every event or ceremony. You are to acknowledge every person in the room, if possible. And most importantly, you must always have a face that exudes joy and welcome
But we all know this is not always possible. We are humans too after all. We carry our burdens and fears with us just like everyone else. Nonetheless, we are expected to have more concern for those around us and to set our own load aside.
The calling of ministry is honorable, but it carries a very heavy weight. And that, my friends, is why community is so very important.
In the last few months, my husband’s ministries having been changing and growing in the best way. It has been wonderful to watch his excitement flourish and to see how God’s calling continues to develop in his life. Through this, I have found new ways to be involved and it has pushed me to make new connections, even more so with people my own age. These friendships have brought so much peace into my life.
It so very important that we have people we can worship and learn with through Bible study, connect groups, Sunday School, etc. But it is equally important for us to have those we can celebrate life with outside of the church walls. These are the friends you can pray and grow with as well as share parts of your everyday life.
As someone whose life revolves primarily around church and ministry, it is nice to have times when I can have conversations that are just about shopping, marriage, books, or the last amazing thing my daughter did. Someone who sees me as just a person and doesn’t identify me solely by my role in ministry. I think of these as the people you want to be with to celebrate the little things in life in addition to the big things.
Community isn’t defined by the number of people but rather the quality. You may not share your greatest burdens and fears with everyone. With everyone else you may just mention “an unspoken prayer request”. But with your people, your community, you will share it all. You will know you are not carrying your burdens alone and someone understands and truly cares.
I hope you find that here in our little community!