Honestly

I originally had a different plan for this post, and I still intend to share those thoughts at some point. But something told me there was a different story to tell this time.

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I believe I have previously held a misleading standard in my mind of what a pastor’s wife should be.

Someone who is conspicuously spiritual.

Someone who has all the answers.

Someone who has it all together.

But through my experience in the last few years I have built a new understanding which I apply to my own life.

She is someone who is real.

Someone who is relatable.

Someone who is available and honest.

So this is me being honest.

I’m a pastor’s wife and sometimes I catch myself in a lukewarm state.

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My husband, Taylor, is the Next Generation Pastor at our church, working with kids, teens and young adults. Every Wednesday night he leads a young adult Bible study called New Waywhich targets groups aged eighteen to thirty-something. Since having our daughter I’m not able to be present in every aspect of Taylor’s ministries. However, New Way is one of the places I am able to be present each week.

Now I may be a little impartial, but I do hold the opinion that my husband is a great speaker. It amazes me how I can talk to someone every single day and still learn something brand new from them, and be inspired. Recently Taylor completed a series titled “Relentless Grace” where he taught from the book of Jonah. It was interesting to hear the story taught in a way that was different from what inspired the kid’s song “Sing Hosanna - Who Did Swallow Jonah?”.

Anyway, in the finale of this Bible study series, Taylor talked about how many of us are guilty of becoming lukewarm Christians. This is something that really caught my attention as I find I have been guilty of “checking the boxes” when it comes to my relationship with God.

Go to church on Sunday. Check.

Pray before I eat. Check.

Read a passage from my Bible. Check.

Go to Bible study. Check.

Participate in worship. Check.

Pray before going to sleep. Check.

I wouldn’t treat my relationship with my husband, or my relationship with my daughter, in the same manner. So why have I caught myself treating my relationship with God passively?

Instead, it helps to look at these things as opportunities, as blessings, rather than things I am expected to do.

I get to go to church on Sunday!

I have food to be thankful for!

I can hear from God by reading His Word!

I’m surrounded by people who share my love of God!

I have so much to praise him for!

I serve a God who hears me when I pray!

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Christians as a whole are held to a higher standard, and pastor’s wives even more so. It’s something that I’ve had a difficult time accepting in this journey. I believe it so important for people, in ministry or not, understand that we are human too. We are capable of falling victim to our sinful nature. And we are capable of learning and growing from those mistakes. And that is why I want to continue creating a place of honesty.